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talent, genius & all... regular traits... when you are Johnny Depp
The Shock Treatment reviews Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Naomie Harris
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Oy mate! methinks 'tis a summer treasure
8/10
user approval rating 111 vote(s)
63%
user approval 111 vote(s)
  USA 2006
Genre: Adventure
Director: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp , Orlando Bloom , Keira Knightley , Naomie Harris
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A REVIEW BY BOB SINCLAR 07/23/2006

Yeeeeha people! I am here today with my trusty laptop device to tell you something I have never told anyone before! I will enlighten you with the true and happy story of my trip to the theatre the other day… like, 2 weeks ago, for a overwhelmingly un-anticipated (I’ll explain later) show of Pirates of The Carribean: Dead’s Man Chest.

Well, it’s been already 3 years since the first Pirates of the Carribean movie came out, The Curse of the Black Pearl… which reminds me that I did some cursing of my own at the time after watching that flick because, despite my random memory loss affliction, I seem to recall that movie as doing an overly Disney-children-esque, good only for operetta portrayal of the pirates universe. But -- I am not quite done yet -- I must mention that in this somewhat sterile world there were a couple of big giant upsides. Two things that I loved and which would forever impregnate my mind (notice the dramatization here to get you hooked). “So what the hell was that?” may you rightly ask yourself! Well I’ll tell you, I have not forgotten the incredible, out of this world, gay(?), difficult to grasp, unpredictable, mascara-wearing and overall genius character named Captain Jack Sparrow, created by Johnny Depp, and which almost got him an instant Oscar™ (official seal of approval to play in falsely smart pieces of shit for a huge fee) reward. Thank god (or whoever was in charge at the moment) he didn’t get it and could eventually proceed to keep working with highly original characters. Besides if there is one movie he should have gotten a reward for, it’s Ed Wood. The second thing I remember just as well is the sexiness of Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann, a charming, radiant woman evolving in an exclusively British-rotten-teeth-people’s world, and which gave me a special feeling at the time. The kind that made me wait till the show was well over to exit the theatre.

It’s all coming back to me now! I even remember at the time, being the huge fan of Johnny Depp that I am, experiencing some anxiousness in the hopes of a success of this flick which was probably one of the first really big popular test for him in a long time. It was a tough time to do such a test, a time where a lot of witch hunting was going on in the US… the threats, blackmail and crap are done more quietly these days. With, as only punishment, only 1 Hollywood-standard-issue quick (and gentle) 1-liner jab at the French to deliver, Depp was all forgiven for his lack of blind patriotism and back as being appreciable for the American people. Still on top everyone else’s appreciation list though. He could then demonstrate freely once again to the delirious masses of the world, his amazing talent of the best-actor-of-his-generation type, capable of creating some deep, complex and totally original characters always featuring two distinctive traits; huge energy and passion. His (best of his career?) role as Ed Wood was, I believe, the jump-start to all this genius. But we can also mention his memorable duo with Benicio Del Toro (hello Hollywood! What da fuck?... this man needs urgent intensive hiring on all types of projects!!!) in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or more recently his dreamy-goofy-immaturely-irresistible incarnation of Willy Wonka in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Ok I’m mostly done with the flower-throwing & complimenting.

Now I think, after this overly long introduction, I ought to do some talking about the second episode of this trilogy. The one corresponding to the title of this article for which you’ve kindly took your afternoon off to enjoy the pleasant reading (thanks guys). What is the Dead Man’s Chest … really? ... Just as a side note, and before I proceed, I think that at this point, I should mention that I do write long introductions about my life & friends & pets, mostly because of a definite tendency to write reviews weeks after watching movies, which one really shouldn’t do if one is not inclined to compromise one’s article with a lot of nonsense. So before I start talking about the movie, first let me tell you why I wasn’t in full anticipation mode that time around.

Even though I am still very, regardless of my somewhat early 30’s advanced age, sensitive to what I call the IEEL (Imminent Erection Excitement Level) prior to watching big summer blockbusters (many are only busters), this year has been particularly weak, and I guess after several huge letdowns (Superman, Xmen 3, Cruiseman 3 to name a few) my expectation level had gone down, like way through the floor prior to see Dead Man’s Chest. And it may have been helpful, because I really, really loved that movie. Enough actually to compare it to … The Empire Strikes Back! The comparison being as a matter of fact quite obvious when you look at both movies’ purpose and structure, but we’ll get back to that in the end.

The Dead Man’s Chest’s plot is quite simple and very efficient at its core, which is basically a treasure hunt involving several competitors, and goes pretty much like this... To avoid eternal damnation and become a pawn at the service of legendary pirate turned ghost, Davi Jones, Captain Jack Sparrow is forced on a quest to find a treasure which will, not only help him out of his terrible predicament, but give him a far greater power which I will not disclose in this review. You evil kids! Just go see it what the hell you’re waiting for it’s already make like 100 gazillion dollars. Unfortunately for Captain Sparrow but fortunately for the audience, he is definitely not the only person to pursue this treasure and all the major parties of the story end up converging towards Davi Jones’s chest, all with conflicting interests.

The scenario, while evolving around a quite basic premise, is very well assembled, smartly interlacing the stories of each of the main characters which brings a nearly perfect rhythm to the story and a nice variety in the locations, situations and people on screen. The fairly large number of typical secondary characters, which I wont have time to cover in this review, and their corresponding storylines help create a rich and wonderfully exotic universe, almost as filled with details as the Star Wars universe. It might require some focus on your part but it is all very rewarding in the end. Without any warning, you will get sucked in good in this dream-like universe and it won’t let you go until the end credits start rolling.

One could say that Captain Jack Sparrow is, this time around, the center piece of the story, but one would be doing quite a big mistake as each character, and this is appreciable, remains an important piece of the story. I suppose Johnny Depp’s overwhelming charisma as the colourful Captain Sparrow automatically gives that feeling. But do not make a mistake about it (to quote a fool), both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley do an equally remarkable job, especially with all the complex action scenes they all get involved in. Even if they impersonate somewhat more traditional adventure-movie-wearing-costume characters, the range of emotion they share with us is worth mentioning, especially in a summer flick which usually means limited to no emotion at all. You can’t help but notice a great chemistry between all the actors and actresses. It makes me even happier when I can actually feel that people enjoyed working together. It really brings a touch of magic that only a few films get.

Fortunately for Orlando Bloom, he had this film scheduled after Elizabethtown which has instantly stopped his Cameron Crowe curse and back in the acting business. Keira Knightley on the other hand keeps displaying a beautiful healthy tan which perfectly covers the delicate texture of her skin; and she does that during the whole time. And that, my little friends, is a performance!... and man, those firm little thighs & breasts… never mind. I think we finally have our new princess Leia people! I even got scared for her at some point, prior to peeing on my seat, but then the person sitting next to me told me that the giant sea monster she was facing on the screen wasn’t real.

Yeah that’s right people, you heard me! This film showcases giant-sea-monster-squid things, WITH the tentacles!… Finally! Dead Man’s Chest corrects in almost perfect manner this shortcoming of the first episode. No sea monsters… what the hell! Here, you will get your good share of digital ghosts and cool monsters, all designed in great details and even if you wish the end result was a little scarier, you can applaud for a special effects budget well spent. Yo! Superman where’s your SFX dude?. Though, you might notice some bad image super-imposition in a few scenes which is definitely forgiven but not like what we have come to expect in a 21st century flick. (I will go home in my flying car once I’m done writing this btw).

Okay but What about the Luv? If you are like me you will also love the fact that the relationships between the main protagonists have gone a bit on the hazy, shady side. The story, being much darker than in the first film, abandons the usual good guy vs. bad guy format (we see enough of that in yearly superhero flicks) and becomes full of deception, betrayal, lies and mixed feelings, which is incredibly more entertaining to watch. Love is certainly in the thick air and after an interrupted wedding for Will & Elizabeth for death sentencing reasons early in the movie, options are kept wide open between our 3 heros. I have to mention that a very exciting new love interest is thrown in this happy mix in the person of the mysterious Tia Dalma (Naomi Harris… HOT even with rotten teeth). Well I tell you people it’s like watching a good version of Big Brother (if that could ever exist) … the suspense will get you and you will constantly ask yourself… who will screw who? That’s one of the great achievements of this movie and one of the great similarities with The Empire Strikes Back.

Director Gore Verbinski apart from doing well directing his actors or at least making sure everybody was happy enough on the set to do a great job, did for himself just an ok work. I mean the overall look and feel of this movie is quite standard big action flick style. It feels like pretty much any director on the same budget could have done a similar job. The movie is much more likely to touch you on the story and atmosphere level than with its style or technically impressive shots. You may even regret some weak moments like the fight on a giant wheel sequence towards the end, which feels way too much like an imposed figure. What Gore does extremely well however is translate efficiently the superb rhythm of the script on screen. And that’s with “to the second” precision.

Gore also manages along with the writers to deliver one of the best sequel-of-a-trilogy cliffhanger ending in years, highly reminiscent of, you guessed it, The Empire Strikes Back, and just totally brilliant. Plus when you get to spend 2h30 hours in a freezing theatre and you feel like you wake up from a dream way too fast and wish you could just stay in there 2h30 more hours for the big finale, well that usually means you’ve been in contact with quality entertainment.

Thank you all Johnny, Keira, Orlando, Gore and friends for that. We’ll be expecting you in a few months for what I hope will conclude with panache a trilogy that could become as cult as the first Star Wars trilogy.


© 2006 Tom H

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